b'Jay Allen is a published author, combat veteran, motivational speaker and successful businessman. His provoking speeches predominantly concentrate on both personal and professional growth of businesses and their leaders and his personal story regarding Mental Health/Mental Wealth, is inspiring to all.He is currently listed on the UK Power 100 (Smith and Williamson) as one of their top 100 recognised business influencers in the UK.jayallen.ukITS OK TO NOT BE OKT he result of a demanding, fast-paced world, 24/7 mediaThat said, transition is rarely easy. Acknowledging the condition, getting and technology has seen a demise in self-esteem andthe right diagnosis and treatment and managing treatment and recovery confidence and an increase in comparison and pressure.are significant enough to overcome. But overcoming lack of knowledge, This takes a huge toll on mental wellbeing, connectionunderstanding, consideration and tolerance is just as tough. with others and, ultimately, self-worth and mental andIm not ashamed of my PTSD and dont shy away from it, but it invited emotional stability. rejection in many forms. But this rejection ultimately became my salvation The offline world brings similar challenges resulting in theas I transformed it into a determination to achieve in spite of the same trauma states.judgements. I served Queen and Country worldwide for over 12The process of change comes hand in hand with uncertainty, anxiety and years in the British Army as an Advanced Traumafear, especially when managing your mental health alongside careers, Medic until a series of traumatic incidentsbusinesses and relationships.saw me medically retired diagnosed with PostManaging fearTraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Did I feel fear as I was recovering and building my business? Easier to ask PTSD is often a slow onset condition usuallywhen didnt I?. aBut I was determined to move forward to achieve. Fear caused by a build-up of multiple incidents/ can be incredibly debilitating but there is a skill that has helped me (and scenarios which culminate in break point.Astill does) to overcome the fear: using perspective.painful and surreal visit to my GP and beingWhen facing fear, anxiety or overwhelm, we lock our sectioned under the Mental Health Act (forthoughts onto the severity and immediacy of the problem, my own protection) was my break point. Its ok to say unable to see all the other difficult situations we have The factors that combined for me were childhoodIm not ok. Justfaced and overcome. trauma, exposure to mass graves in Bosnia, moneymake sure youWhenever faced with something which challenges concerns and a separation from my wife. Thesesay it out loud,my comfort zone, I measure my fear and ask myself resulted in me becoming a functioning alcoholic forlet others support- Where does this sit in comparison with everything over a year before I asked for help.you and knowelse Ive ever faced and overcome?The biggest difficulty to overcome was my pride as anthat you are notIf you have done it once, you can do it again.adult male, a husband, father and soldier. These rolesdefined by it.all demanded something of me. I felt I was failing. I wasAlongside my businesses, being a Mental Health and angry and blamed the world and everything in it. Suicide Prevention First Aider has helped me to help others During my hospitalisation, it became evident it was up to me tofind a safe space of calm. This can mean whatever you need it to do the work to get back out. That involved accepting the things that hadmean to benefit your headspace. caused my trauma, learning coping mechanisms to acknowledge they hadOur roles as coaches and as humans is to acknowledge, understand and happened and to disassociate feelings or emotions attached to them.empathise with those we have the privilege to live and work with; to help This was slow work; but fast forward and Im now an award-winningthem with their challenges to move forward as the person they are, in their international keynote speaker, published author, coach and entrepreneuruniqueness.with my own coaching and consultancy company. 30'