b'What is a toxic/unhealthy relationship? But if you havent changed yourself then you wont feel As we grow up, we learn about relationships, how we fitcomfortable even if they do change, as they then stop into them and what parts of us we can and cannot show tomeeting your needs.feel loved, cared for and accepted.What is the biggest lesson you have If we have an unhealthy example, we may believe that welearned about your work and yourself?need to please in order to gain acceptance or to avoid loss/pain and, as a result, we will continue to (unwittingly)Professionally, I have learned that it is all about the people attract relationships where we fulfil this belief. around you. Theres lots I can do myself in my business We develop a window of comfort and anything outsideand, ultimately, its only me that can make it happen, but of this leaves us trying to do anything we can to get ushaving good, honest, reliable and supportive people back into it. If this means a need to please, then you willaround you is crucial.fulfil that unhealthy need in order to feel comfortableOn a personal level, its keeping on top of my old self-again.sabotaging behaviours; when I know there are times I am An extreme of this behaviour is a term that is bandedprocrastinating and trying to fulfil my old negative around a lot, narcissism. beliefs.Not everyone who manipulates, needs to always be right, wont accept responsibility for their actions or becomesDo you have a emotionally or physically abusive is a narcissist, but theyfavourite quote or have certainly developed a maladaptive way of relating,words of wisdom? People are better described as narcissistic tendencies. People like this have an extremely narrow window ofOne of my favouriteunaware of comfort and will do whatever it takes to get them backquotes is by Homerthe problem - into the space where they feel safest. If that means theySimpson! In one episode need to manipulate, lie, scream and shout and makehe says, just becauseor they make demands (a need to be heard) that is exactly what theyI understand, it doesntexcuses.will do. They often use emotional blackmail to look formean I care!. proof that others care enough about them.We want people to do what When these elements are present, but not restricted to, thiswe expect them to do. If they is a toxic or unhealthy relationship. understand what we are going through or what causes our problems, What is the biggest block to peoplewe expect them to care about it but if it doesnt mean enough to them, they understand but wont getting help? care enough to do anything.People are unaware of the problem or they make excuses.Once we accept this then our life is so much easier and They get stuck in their patterns, going from day to day,we can look to ourselves and others who do care enough.fulfilling the needs from the past, oblivious to the impact its having.Then there is change itself which can be difficult due to the tendency to want to be safe - our brain likes what itNEW DOCUMENTARY knows.COMING SOON! I work with the resistance that presents when people wantForget Me Not - For The to make change and do something better for themselves.Child You Left BehindThey find it incredibly hard to break away from their oldAvailable on Amazon beliefs and perceptions of self and life.Video On Demand.Also, some people want the people around them to change. (I cover this in my book about how hard or nearSEE WEBSITE FOR UPDATES.impossible this task is)27'