b'Nicole Posner is a Workplace Mediator and Executive Conflict Coach Practitioner, specialising in the Psychology of Conflict. She works Whys\x1c hard ? with leaders, teams, managers and individuals to prevent, manage and address conflict and to foster better communication in the workplace. She is author of several published articles on managing workplace conflict and is a regular guest on local radio discussing conflict and communication issues. np-mediation.london UNDERSTANDINGINTERNAL CONFLICTChallenging behaviours are one of the main indicators of stress and frequently the cause of workplace conflict.Lashing out through frustration, using clipped communication styles, sarcasm or micro-managing are all types of behaviours that illustrate an underlying issue bubbling away. In daily life and at work, we can face a myriad of stressful situations and problems to navigate. Its not always easy and experiencing our own internal conflict adds to this.A s a Workplace Mediator, Con ict Resolutionand I considered my bag being shoved out disrespectful which is my niche and I help to facilitate resolutioncon icted with my value. and Im always very aware and mindful ofOur core values highlight what we stand for, they guide our external and internal con ict in my own life.decisions and actions and if we perceive these to be con icted There was a poignant moment for me earlier in my career thatin any way, we respond accordingly. When we understand helped me understand more about my own inner con ict andour values better, we can navigate the internal (and external) behavior. It was a Friday afternoon on a fullight to Scotlandcon icts better. with the usual boarding chaos and aght for space in theHow do you manage Internal Con ict?overhead lockers.Passengers were crammed in the aislesWhen internal con ict occurs, the key is to understand why by searching for a few square inches to squeeze in their handasking questions to help illuminate whats at the core for you. luggage, pushing and pulling other peoples possessions totAwareness: Start with identifying the reason the situation or theirs in.event irritated or upset you. Was it the way someone spoke to Suddenly, a person next to me roughly shoved my hold all outyou, what they said - or didnt say? Pause and re ect. How did of the way to accommodate theirs; without any due care oryou feel? consideration whether there might be something fragile inside.Whats behind that feeling? For example, the need I saw red! I confronted them without thinkingrst. It escalated.for recognition, loyalty, safety, security or support or Passengers stared and my husband looked at me in shock - whoencouragement.was this imposter and where had his calm and collected con ict resolution wife gone? We worked it out like adults, of course,Consider why thats important to you. Does recognition but I was left with a deep sense of confusion, embarrassmentmake you feel worthy, professional, respected and valued?and humiliation that I had behaved so irrationally and out ofGet clarity around how to use this understanding.character.Do you want to share with others to help them understand your Dealing with the con ict of others was my business. Surely, Itriggers or learn from it to raise your own self-awareness?should know better? I realised this was my own inner con ictTake notice of how internal con ict shows up for you. and this event had triggered something in me. My reactionUnderstand it rather than letting it de ne, control and consume was seemingly disproportionate to the actual event but, onyou - and use it as an opportunity for change, growth and re ection, I understood it. One of my highest values is respectliberation in all areas of your work and life.21'